Discovering the Curve

The CBR is perfectly comfortable in a turn. As long as I keep my head turned and my eyes focused on the apex, the bike simply kneels over and flows toward the target. Riding a bike is different from driving a car in that there is a new discovery in every curve. A road can be ridden a thousand times and each time through would be different from the others. I wanted to ride so I can be faster than other people on the road. I wanted to ride so I can be more maneuverable than other people on the road. But what keeps me on the saddle is the experimentation and discovery of learning a new technique that I have never used before.

Bleeding the brake while snapping the bike from left to right feels amazing! One should not be able to do this; it's certainly not something that is taught in class. As I ride and experiment with the throttle or with the brake, I find that I can do more things than I previously thought. The building up of speed, along with the new management techniques that keeps my bike on its wheels, is frighteningly exciting. I know my limit, but sometimes I slightly push my limit. The result is pleasantly surprising. It feels like I have gotten away with something that I shouldn't have; and somehow I am special because of it.

In life, we search not for things that we can do very well, but for things that we have not done before. This is why I am in the profession that I am in. I do not simply want to be so good at what I do that I am untouchable. I want to learn and grow and discover. I want every minute, every breath to be a new experience. Sometimes fear grip me back. I realize that to be able to over come my fear while applying methods and techniques brings so much joy that it is indescribable.

I realize that this is why life is exciting in that you are not given every ability, every strength, and every bit of knowledge the day you are born. Every person has the chance to step forth and discover new things about the world or him/herself. This is the dynamic of life that can never be taken away. It is true that sometimes we suck and we crash horribly. But in most cases, with proper guidance, conditions, and intelligence, our bodies and minds can ride and flow like no super computer can.

Just last week, I had learned to plan and manage large undertakings. This involves a lot of guessing, estimating, arguing, and reguessing. The point is to take the most amount of BS out of the process as possible. This increases the chances of succeess, even to the point unimaginable. Lives can be saved, happiness could be attained, time and effort could be harvested, only if we use our imagination and management techniques. These techniques must be attained through the process of risk management, instinctive actions, and most importantly, the intelligence to discover what works and what does not.

As I ride through the curves and straights that I have done a hundred times before, and as I look back at the arduous undertakings that I was a part of, I can see that when we shut down the part of our brain that wants to discover and overcome that we truly fail. We simply have to go just a bit faster than we have gone before, and overcome the part within us that just wants to do things we have always done it, then we would be more successful than we have imagined before.

I find that the hunger for discovery feeds itself, but also yearns for more. When I think that I have mastered a technique, I simply wants to turn around and do it again. Maybe this time, I will learn a new technique. No time through the road is ever the same.

Motivation to Ride

I have my bike back, and with great sadness that I must report I have turned into a poser. The truth is I don't know quite what to do with this thing. It is my passion, and I never want to let go of it. However, I don't spend enough time with it to truly invest in the passion right now. I will plan out my riding objectives, and collect gear along the way-when they're affordable. I will either make it into a half-time track bike, or fully track it. It will all depend on how much traveling my career will demand of me.

I am entering a phase of "lack of motivation"-both to ride and to achieve. This is typical of an aftermath of a great marathon. I have struggled, I have been down, I have thrived, and I have learned. But now what? I don't see my exit, and hence I don't feel the commitment.

This time period is such a blind corner for me. I know I should keep the faith, and try to stay on throttle while leaning and maintaining speed. But I can't see the exit, and I can't hit the apex. This corner is tightening, and I'm questioning my speed commitment. When do I run out of lean angle, and when will I slide out from underneath? These are dangerous questions, because the more imminent danger is if I back off the throttle, and begin to wobble about. A high side is much more likely.

So, thinking about crashing is no way to ride, but it haunts me ever since the last bad action I've taken. I'm out of rhythm, and thinking more than I should. Hesitation infects my actions and it spreads throughout my veins. I know what to do-to turn on the music and twist that throttle harder, but I am facing mental blocks that I cannot overcome-that is to simply act.

If I weren't me right now, here is what I would tell myself: to simply accept that I will crash. This mental state has been written ever since the days of ancient Chinese war artists to philosophers of the Renaissance. "The soldier that wants to live in battle will die, and the soldier that knows he will die will live". Memento mori. Remember that you too will die. Each moment of hesitation, each of moment of fear, is a moment against personal achievement. To become who I have imagined myself to be, I have to accept that to a certain measure, I will fail. Again.

The trick is to simply process all the risks and fears into the logical part of the brain, and push all the feelings from them to the back. Not many people can or will operate in this environment, but those that do truly find their rewards.

This concept can only be proven in action and in the results from which. So, let the battle be joined. Let the bike the ridden. Let the consequences be damned (slightly). Let me attempt this once again, and see what comes from it.

Most importantly, let this be my motivation to ride, and nothing else.

Yesterday is gone

I sit in the corner with my helmet on. Where will I go? How will I grow? What part of this life I will experience? Will I survive? Will I thrive?

I'm going to live with the decisions that I make on the go. That's the way it is and that's all that there has to be. Everything else is just noise.